Monday, August 27, 2012

It's All In The Subtext

It seems like this year is filled with nothing but film adaptions of books. Seriously, we got The Hobbit, The Hunger Games, Les Miserable, The Great Gatsby, Life of Pi, The Lorax, John Carter, The Women in Black, Perks of Being a Wall Flower, a Diary of a Wimpy Kid sequel, another Twilight catastrophe, Abe Lincoln Vampire something or other, I'm sure there were a couple of Nicolas Sparks thrown out... What to Expect When Your Expecting... I mean, heck, even all the highest earners come from comic books (hold it 3 feet away, tilt your head and squint... it'll look like literature). It's just further proof that the greatest narratives usually start as books.

Movies from books usually go one of three ways. First, you never even knew the movie was a book in the first place so it has no effect on your viewing of it. Second, they take a classic that you love and destroy it (or in the Twilight case, take a mediocre book and make it even worse). Or third, Peter Jackson directs it and your life is never the same ;) OK not always true, he did give us The Lovely Bones... The fact is, it's impossible to interpret a book directly into a movie. That means you're bound to get a version of it you don't like at least some of the time. But sometimes, when the stars align just right, a book can be turned into a cinematic masterpiece.

So you get another top ten list. This time, the top ten books I think would make great movies. Now, I know that some of these may have been done in TV productions or in some obscure foreign film. One of the first books I planned to put on here was Ender's Game until I looked into it and saw that a movie was planned already! As for everything else, I've checked and they have been found wanting! So let's get started. Feel free to add your own suggestions to Hollywood in the comments.

Fablehaven
I was actually really surprised by how much I liked this five book series. Yes, it is written for a younger audience, and, yes, the formula is an exact replica for the first three books, but it was still highly entertaining to me. It's a story about a brother and sister who's grandparents guard a natural preserve of mythological creatures. The story gets exciting when your introduced to the Sphinx who may or may not be trying open a prison of demons that would help him rule the world. Dragons, centaurs, warrior fairies, zombies, mazes, anti-gravity fights, magical artifacts, all combined in a compelling narrative of unexpected twists and turns; Not bad for children's literature. My feelings are if The Spiderwick Chronicles got a shot, this series is more than deserving. 

The Twelve Dancing Princesses
Disney, please, please take note of this one. You really owe me after that whole Brave debacle of 2012. This is a great, classic fairytale, and I'm kind of shocked that it hasn't been touched by Disney yet. They better be careful or Dreamworks might snatch it up. In the story, a King offers a reward to whoever can discover where his 12 daughters keep running away to each night and how they are doing it. Enter the brave, dashing young man who believes he can solve the mystery with a little bit of street smarts. I see 5 maybe 6 songs that will be stuck in my head all year if Disney catches on.

The Turn of the Screw
So you know how on the night of Christmas you usually play games with your family or go see a movie or eat yourself sick? Well, there once was a time when people would tell ghost stories. That's how this whole story starts. It's incredible because it's one of the first ghost stories that was ever written. It's about a governess who takes a job watching two kids at a house in the middle of nowhere (because she falls in love with their dad in, like, a second after meeting him). The older boy has been kicked out of his boarding school and you never find out why. Then the governess starts seeing the ghost of an evil man and a terrifying women all over. The tension builds as the governess starts to suspect that not only are the kids seeing them two, but actually talking with them on occasion. Frankly, I just want a good scary movie that doesn't require a lick of gore.

Murder on the Orient Express
 Yes, I am aware this has been attempted cinematically by the British before, but has any one out there actually seen it, or cared to see it? Didn't think so. I, for one, think this would make a great modern adaptation with a Clue-esqe feel. (Just think of the cast we'd get with so many unique characters!) I can't remember the last movie I saw that was just a good, old fashion, intimate murder mystery. They might need to amp it up to make it a little more thrilling for our generation, but still the potential is great here!

Aenied
How is it that people hear so much about Troy and there's sooo many movies about it, but nobody seems to care about this one?! This story is way more epic and a lot easier to follow. Here's just a taste of what you would get in the first ten minutes or so of the movie. Aeneas, our hero, wakes up to find himself in the middle of a fallen Troy. He then battles his way through the city to save his dad. Than, carrying his dad on his back and his baby son in his arms, he battles his way to escape the city! That's just the first ten minutes! Aeneas than goes into the underworld, crosses the Mediterranean, and fights in a battle to end all battles, setting the ground for Rome to be found... Two tickets to the 7:30 showing, please!!

The Old Man and the Sea
 How has this one not been done? The story of a old fisherman that battles it out for a few days with the catch of his life and then with a few sharks. I smell drama galore. I see Antonio Banderas as the old man, a nice CGI fish as his prey, and Bruce from Finding Nemo as the lead shark. How awesome would that be! Perhaps the reason it hasn't been done is because people find Hemingway so depressing. But it's time people! The camera shots of the vast Caribbean ocean would be enough to put me in the seat.

Uncle Tom's Cabin
Oh yes, you should just expect this book to show up in every post I write from now on. You people just need to read this book! I think if Denzel is cast as the title character we might as well call this a blockbuster right now because yes! it will bust the block!! I suppose this movie hasn't been done yet because racial tensions are so hard to gauge and some people ignorantly mistake the message of this book just because the hero is a slave who actually cares about his slave holders and isn't willing to run away. But the message is beautiful and one I think our generation is in desperate need of.

Heart of Darkness
 Generally, I don't like when movie producers and directors take great liberties with their adaptations of books, but in this case I'd be all for it. The underlying message of the savagery that took place in the Congo, I feel, is to easily lost in this age, but why not hype up the book's premise--a boat traveling up the mysterious Congo river into the deep recesses of the jungle. There is a lot to work with there, and then if we make the whole "Europeans shouldn't have made themselves into disgusting animals with their actions in the Congo" theme a little more visually blatant, someone might get an Emmy out of this. Or at least a Grammy. (Yes, I know Grammys are for music.) The book is not phenomenal, but the movie could be.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
 Talk about a hilarious Christmas movie that has the power to move people to tears in a matter of seconds. I hope all of you have read this one. If not, find a copy! It has about 70 very short, very easy to read pages. I was able to read the whole thing on one of my flights to visit family for Christmas. It's the story of a small town church that's putting on a Christmas pageant and family of extremely rough around the edges children that bully themselves into the cast. When they start catching onto the true meaning of the play, it is truly heart-warming.

Macbeth
 Really people?! Really? We've got like forty different Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet adaptations, but we can't get one measly big screen Macbeth? What is going on in the world? I blame communism... Seriously though, enough dorking around. This movie needs to be made and made now. It's exciting, creepy, and compelling the throughout the entire story. I would further suggest we don't abandon sophisticated English, but the whole thing doesn't have to be in the Shakespearean tongue. Frankly, I can read the stuff, but I still get lost trying to hear other people speak it in plays. Make this happen Hollywood! That's not a request. ;)
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Man, I have a lot of great idea's here. I knew I should have tried to get into the movie business. Oh well, these movies may never get made. That doesn't mean you have to suffer! Go find yourself a copy of these books and live the story for yourself. Enjoy!

3 comments:

  1. Technically, Apocalypse Now is an adaptation of Heart of Darkness. The documentary about the making of Apocalypse Now is called "Hearts of Darkness" and is every bit as worth while as Apocolypse Now.

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  2. I echo your vote for Uncle Tom's Cabin!! :) And, of course, I must add in my girly book vote: When You Reach Me.

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  3. I have, in fact, seen Murder on the Orient Express and it was good. :) watch it!

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