There's So Much To Be Thankful For

 Thanksgiving really is a wonderful time of year. It is, however, a little sad that we have to have a national holiday declared to realize how truly blessed we are. We live in a time now that we have so much to be thankful for. I strongly feel that we should remind ourselves of that every day. Still, why not spend one day being extra thankful and letting everyone else know. My list is very easy to write this year:

1. I am thankful for my beautiful, charming wife. She is prefect in my eyes!
2. I am thankful that Heavenly Father is blessing us with a baby boy in just over two months.
3. I am thankful for the atonement of Jesus Christ and his gospel.
4. I am thankful for my family: Mom & Dad, brothers, sisters & brothers-in-law, and nieces & nephews.
5. I am thankful for good movies and books. (This one is obvious given the subject of this blog!)
6. I am thankful to live in this great country where the purest and most noble ideals exist and rule.
7. I am thankful for a car that has been around the block (A LOT) but is still running.
8. I am thankful for good music!
9. I am thankful for the clothes on my back, the food in my stomach, and the apartment I live in.
10. I am thankful for all the technological advances we have that, if not abused, makes life so much better.

And of course I'm thankful for everyone that reads this silly blog!

Now that all the serious stuff is out of the way, the holidays are also a time to enjoy some nonsensical frivolities! And so I give you this list. Some of you may be feeling really down this year. Some of you may not think you absolutely nothing to be grateful for this year. Fear not, my weary reader, I am here to show you just how much worse things could be! I present to you a list of ten movies that should make you realize how great your life is! If these movies don't shake you from your self-pitying melancholy this holiday season, I don't know what will! So enjoy and remember how much you have to be thankful for! Make sure to read the very end for my special Black Friday offer... or something like that!

I am Legend

Be grateful your dog isn't your ONLY friend:

Of course, there are about a thousand different things to feel grateful for after watching this film. For instance, that you don't have thousands of vampire/zombie things trying to kill you or that you don't have to treat your apartment like Fort Knots or that you don't have a Portuguese woman come and eat the last of your bacon or that you don't have to live in New York City... But what you should be most grateful for is the fact that you aren't so lonely that your dog dying would send you off the deep end. I mean, come on! The guy was actually nervous to talk to a female manikin that he later begged to speak to him.I've felt desperate for attention before, but not THAT desperate. So, if your feeling lonely this holiday, remember it could be worse... A LOT worse.

The Truman Show

 Be grateful your entire life isn't being watched by the whole world:

If you're like me after you saw this film you keep trying to move erratically to see if you could spot a camera following you. It only takes you about half an hour to realize that would be one of the worse things that could possibly happen to you. Think for a second of all the things you accidentally do: falling down stairs or hitting yourself in the face when you open the door. We all look around afterwards to make sure no one was watching. But than think about all the things you WILLINGLY do because you think no one's watching! Things like picking your nose, relieving yourself of a wedgie, eating someone elses food, or that time you dressed up in girl clothes to see what it would be like... These are hypotheticals people, not confessions!! Anyway, I guess if you were ignorant the whole time it would be that bad. But if you knew! Ouch. Count your blessing and be grateful! 

The Prestige

Be grateful you gave up those aspersions for a career as a magician:

Remember when you thought that being a magician was the coolest thing you could grow up to be? Remember when reality came and saved your from that delusion? I'm sorry if you had to wait for this movie to have that experience. I mean, yeah, it seems great at first, but think of what you have to sacrifice! Let's count them off: a couple fingers, the ability to walk without a limp, your reputation, your money, your wife (that's an absolute, everyone ends up alone in the end of the movie), a hundred clones of yourself... the right to acknowledge you exist! My job isn't great, but at least I haven't had to willingly walk into a cage of lightening bolts lately! I'm not a magician, and I am thankful for that!

Cast Away

Be grateful you haven't cried over the loss of a sports ball since your were 4

Now this one takes lonely to a whole new level. If we want to be realistic (which generally is extremely unpopular), no one is ever going to really experience the result of a zombie apocalypses like in I Am Legend. However, being trapped on a desert island all alone... there are thousands of uncharted islands out there, and planes fly over oceans all the time! If you have made it to this point in your life without being a cast away, give yourself a pat on the back. Consider how grateful you should be. Talking to a manikin is one thing, but making a volleyball your best friend?! I like sports and all, but my brothers and I lost baseballs all the time when I was younger, and we'd just shrug our shoulders and say "Don't tell Dad." I am thankful I have never had the experience of giving up my desire for life because my Wilson floated away.

Phantom of the Opera

Be grateful your lady isn't being seduced by a deformed opera singer

 How can you compete with a guy that can sing so sweetly that women are blinded by the fact that he is hideously disfigured? Not to mention he has the coolest digs ever! (I do wonder about all the candles though... how are they not asphyxiating from all the smoke, let alone singing at the top of their lungs?) Regardless of gender, you should be thankful your significant other doesn't know anyone that can literally sing their pants off. I'm pretty sure the Phantom only lost this one because he was up against an extremely rich guy that the girl knew her whole life! The average person wouldn't fair so well. So make sure to say thanks for the fact your life is sans phantom! ;)

 King Kong

If you thought the opera singer was bad...

 If you had a hard time with the opera singer, you've got no chance against a giant gorilla that saved your girl for not one, but TRES T-Rex! Enough said!  Furthermore, be thankful the love of your life isn't suffering from Stockholm syndrome... for an animal. That goes beyond Cast Away crazy... way beyond. Everyone can be thankful they're not that guy!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Be grateful your not an orphan (for the most part):

This one has a clear exception. There is a slight chance you could be the orphan type that ends up being a Bruce Wayne or a James Bond. If you missed out on that you have nothing to celebrate... your life sucks in comparison. But based on cinematic statistics your chances of hitting that avenue aren't looking so good. So be thankful that you aren't an orphan in a movie because if you were you'd be force to go around the streets singing and dancing for food like an unchoreographed Oliver Twist. Or worse still, you could end up like the Baudelaire children from the Lemony Snicket tales. In that case, you would go through four or five parental guardians in a matter of a couple days, four or which would be dead and one of which would be actively trying to kill you. To make matters worse, any adult you met would be a complete moron. But you could comfort yourself that you can still read and bite things... Oh happy day...

What About Bob

 Be grateful your stalker isn't hilarious

 Most stalkers do the right thing and let you know they are creepy and awkward. They dress and act in such a way that if you saw them coming down the street you'd think, "Hey, it's a creepy guy. I suppose I should avoid him!" But what happens if you stalker is as hilarious and charming as Bill Murray? Worse yet, what if people actually started to like your stalker more than you?! Considering no one reading this blog has ever had this experience, we should all consider ourselves very lucky here! I know I couldn't compete with Bob! It would be terrible to be the only one that hates the guy everyone else loves. I should mention this one as a thing I'm thankful for on Thursday at dinner!

Jurassic Park

Be grateful science can't live up to a 5th graders imagination

I loved dinosaurs growing up, same as any grade school boy. And I loved this movie! But how terrible would it be if this were real? I mean, I use the toilet probably twice as much as the next guy. That means my chance of getting plucked of it by a T-Rex would be twice as high if science could clone them. I think every once and a while we need to send a prayer heavenward thanking God that science in many ways is an epic failure! If this isn't enough to make you count your blessings, consider that you haven't had to watch the second and third Jurassic Parks since they came out! You might even be a lucky one that never saw them all! Bless your stars!

The Fugitive

Be grateful you have a good alibi 

Hey, I'm not here to judge. If your a murderer, that's cool, just stay away from me and you can still feel as lucky from this movie as an innocent man. (Disclaimer: I am judging! If you're a murderer please stop reading my blog and turn yourself into the proper authorities immediately.) But can you imagine being innocent of the a crime like this and the best thing you have to say is "My wife was murdered by a one-armed man"?? I'm not even buying that if it's coming out of my own mouth! If you've never been convicted of a crime, feel good about that. If you have been convicted of a crime, but at least had an awesome alibi you can still feel pretty good! At least you don't have Tommy Lee Jones hunting your bum.

 _ _ _ _

You see! And you thought you didn't have anything to be grateful for. There's one more thing. Some of you may be really low and need even more things to be grateful for. So here's the deal I'm offering. If we can get the views on this post up to 50 by Wednesday night, I will make an additional list of 5 more movies that should make you feel grateful! So tell your friends to check it out and let's see if we can make it! Additionally, if you have any suggestions for good movies feel free to share and I'll add them to the next post if we get to 50. Here's hoping!