The Perfect Cure For Arachnophobia

This is generally the part of my blog where I ramble on about my personal experience with so and so in the past and how it formed my opinion of the issue today. In an attempt to spark note that process, I'll let you know that I grew up watching the Spiderman cartoons, hated the first movie, didn't hate the second and was just as disappointed and ticked off with the third one as you. In short, I really don't think those movies should ever have been made. We finally have the movie that we deserved ten years ago, but sadly those original three may ruin this new epic for the average Joe. Here's my desperate attempt to not let Sam Raimi do any more damage.

I've come to realize that most movie critics... are morons. When Brave came out, I read several reviews stating that the film had a terrible and boring plot, but that it had amazing animation and was a Pixar film so it was therefore amazing...? Now this week I have read several reviews stating that The Amazing Spider-Man has a great plot and amazing acting, but that because it's a remake of a movie from ten years ago it's terrible... Fascinating. Let me get this straight, the complaint is that no one wants to see the same story again? So I guess that means people are done watching movies where an average (typically dorky) guy winds up getting news skills or powers, has some tragic/life altering event occur that solidifies his resolve to do good, falls in love, meets an antagonist, gets beat up, almost loses, but ultimately ends up saving the day. Well, say good bye to comic book movies because that pretty much encompasses them all!!

One review claimed it just doesn't work in a post Avengers world. Need I remind you that we got FOUR origin stories to set the ground for that one, and all were of them fairly similar. It's said in this movie that in fiction there is only one story. I don't know about that but when they all come from same mind (ahem Stan Lee ahem) your gonna end up with some deja vu. It's also a lame criticisms when EVERY ONE of the last Spider-Man films ended the exact same way!! Mary Jane thrice ends up getting kidnapped with the same result of Spidey saving the day and the damsel. At least this film is original! Do yourself a favor and avoid the "already seen this excuse" because tickets sales prove people don't mind seeing the same basic plot line over and over again. In fairness, there were one or two critics that complained the movie was just boring, but we can excuse them considering they were probably just eager to get home and watch their favorite episode of the Backyardigans on Netflix again.

Now let's discuss why the movie is a win on so many levels. I give you, Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker. Look, I love Tobey Maguire, but he was just not the right guy for the job. I've said so from the beginning. It's not all on him though; Sam Raimi's Peter Parker was just written terribly. This new Parker has so much that the old one didn't. Here's the list to prove it.

Brains:

I re-watched  one of the old Spider-Man movies last night and realized that in order to make Peter Parker sound smart they just gave him something "sciencey" to say every once and awhile. That didn't try to create the illusion when the guy seems to be pleasantly baffled by the world around him for the rest of the film. For instance, "I kissed another girl and you're upset about it... I don't understand, I'm confused..." This new Peter talks the talk AND he walks the walk. Not only do we see double helix models, finished rubix cubes and personal inventions in his room, but Garfield's whole aurora screams nerdy with a side of street smarts. Peter Parker is supposed to be a boy genius, and we get that with this new film. Oh and by Jove, he reads! And it something other than poetry. ;)

Likeability:

They really tried to make the old Parker to come off as humorously awkward, but it ended up coming off as "climbing in your window, snatching yo people up" awkward. Mostly I just got really uncomfortable the more I watched him staring down Mary Jane from a distance. The new Parker is awkward with nervous ticks and nonverbal responses, but it is charmingly endearing. It's also refreshing that rather than seeing another newly empowered geek beat up his former bully, Garfield's Parker playful humiliates his high-school antagonist without resorting to any real violence. Plus there's no revenge killing, even if it was accidental in the original. Most importantly, he's funny! Try not to laugh at his encounter with the car thief. To sum up, he just hard not to like.

Vulnerability:
Ever notice how the old Parker would get thrown around and beat up than come home looking lemony fresh? Well Shakespeare would  be proud of the new Peter cause when you prick him, he bleeds! He's constantly hiding bruises and getting scars cleaned. I don't get how the old Spidey became impervious to thirty story falls but this movie shows that the web slinger is just as allergic to bullets as the rest of us. Most especially, he is also emotionally vulnerable. When Uncle Ben dies it's actually a tragic event for Garfield's Parker. And instead of covering it up with selfish guilt and revenge, we see him morn the loss and is overcome with grief. All of this is beautifully framed with grade A abandonment issues from his parents.

To be fair, some people have complained about a part of the movie that I can see looking more ridiculous than needed. During a point in the movie, Spidey is injured and needs to make it across the city. To help, a bunch of construction workers line up their cranes to that he can swing on them. I know, it does sound cheesy, but think about it. Do you really prefer the hero that doesn't need us pitiful humans to help at all? I think the message is Spidey can't do it all on his own. Instead he helps people and they in turn are willing to help him when he needs it. It's actually a great message that EVERYONE needs to do what they can to fight evil, not just the guys with super powers.

 Love Skills:

Peter Parker is a ladies man in the comics. Seriously, he gets like three of the most desirable women in the city to fight over him. I'm not really sure how Maguire's Peter got any girl by crying and being completely ignorant to the rules of basic flirtation.  That's not the case with Garfield's. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is watching Emma Stone's and his character fumble though a realistic attempt to schedule a first date. He's able to actually squeeze out a healthy relationship for a good portion of the movie which is rare.

Superhuman Guidance:
People don't generally end up great unless they have someone great to emulate. Most people need a good mentor/teacher. In the old movies, Uncle Ben had his one line of fame and than died. The rest of the movies than did their best to exploit that phrase for all they could get. We've all heard that "with great power comes great responsibility" a thousand times, but what does that really mean? If I'm not a superhero, I don't have to do jack?  Instead with this film, we get a strong parental presence from Uncle Ben. He doesn't just give one well phrased verse and disappear. He gives moral guidance through the first third of the movie, and we see Parker slowly work out how that applies for him the rest of the film. As Sheen's Uncle Ben says, when have the ability to help someone, we have a moral obligation to do it. It's not as catchy, but, man, it's implications are more powerful.

Oh and Aunt May is a billion times better. Rather than telling long boring stories that make Peter feel guilty and ultimately lead him to make the wrong decisions in life (all with poor acting), we see an Aunt May that is genuinely concerned for Peter and warns him that all secrets have a price. And she's smart! She figures out Pete's alter ego all on her own. I also really appreciate that she was left more in the background for this film so that we could focus on the legacy of Uncle Ben. I look forward to her being a bigger influence for good in the next film though.

Reality:

Most of all, the new Peter is realistic. Maguire's Parker went from average guy to super strength without really batting an eye. I don't know about you, but if I developed "Spidey senses," it would freak me out at first. That's the case with Garfield's Parker. He becomes paranoid and struggles to control his knew strength with humorous results. This also translates into action as a Superhero. When he sets up a spider web trap for the Lizard, we aren't left to believe he sat their perfectly poised the whole time waiting for something to happen. This Peter does what we all would: he gets out his cell phone and starts playing games.

I seriously wish I had time to talk about all the things I loved about this film, but you're probably already getting bored of me swooning over it. BUT just a few more things: Emma Stone is phenomenal in her role and so is Martin Sheen and Sally Fields. The plot is intelligent and thought provoking which I suppose could induce some to claim that it is "boring." One thing I can't complain about the old movies is Danny Elfman's soundtrack, which was near perfection. So I can't say this score by James Horner is better, but it is just as incredible in a new and different way. Let's just say it's the only music I have listened to for the past week. So as to not seem biased, I must grant that the Lizard borders on ludicrous. But I really can't make any excuse there because his whole presence drips with comic book cheese. However, Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors is spectacular.

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Seven years ago the history of comic book movies changed. When Christopher Nolan gave us Batman Begins we were given permission to expect intelligent superhero flicks. Since then directors have been trying to balance between being true to the comics and making realistic action films. With Christopher Nolan moving on to bigger things, it is comforting to know that Marc Webb is trying to follow in those footsteps. Go see The Amazing Spider-Man, and show the world that most people do like smart movies!