The Sound Of The Boom

I will always remember with fondness two teachers that greatly influenced my life. The first was my fifth grade teacher. His image stands out vividly in my mind because he looked exactly like Santa. No, not even kidding! If someone had told me he actually was Santa, I would have replied with a sophisticated, "Duh!" He was kind and patient and best of all encouraged his kids in their passions. I'll never forget that at the time I just loved dinosaurs. So much so that I even created a presentation about them to share with my class. Enough though it had absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter, he set aside ten minutes at the end of the day so that I could share it. Yes, I was a weird kid, but he was a fantastic teacher.

Second in chronology, but not in favor, was my eighth grade social studies teacher. I'll never forget that he was the first teacher I was ever a smart-Alec to in class. But he didn't punish me for it, though he probably should have. Instead, he treated me like I was his best friend. He joked around with me and allowed me to do the same with him. Looking back, I don't think he treat anybody in that class the way he treated me; he treated us in a way that was best for us and EVERYONE loved him for it. I still remember the majority of the projects we did in that class and a surprising amount of the lessons he gave. He cared, he was funny, and he made learning exciting. Twice he spoke kindly of me without knowing I'd ever hear what he said. The first I was told about from a girl who had his class right after me. The second was to tell my dad how smart I was. I wish more than anything that I could find him and show him my appreciation today. 

Now that was an overly sentimental beginning to a review of such a frivolous movie, but I think it's appropriate. This week Alisa showed her love for me but letting me indulge in my costly habit of a trip to the movies. This week we choose to go see Here Comes the Boom. I don't think many people have heard about this movie and for those who had I guess there wasn't much excitement to see it. Alisa and I were one of the rare few that were actually quite eager. If you haven't heard about it, it's the story of a teacher who starts MMA fighting in order to raise money for extracurricular activities at his school (Ah ha! Now it dawns on you why I began this post the way I did!) ;)  

Some of you might not be swayed by my opinion, but I thought this was a great movie! Not only was it equally funny and inspiring, but it's one that almost the whole family can enjoy. (Your little bundle of joy, and Wilbur the pooch should probably stay home.) I can sum up what I loved about this movie in four easy to remember ideas: teaching, music, a quickly growing interesting in MMA, and humor. Now then, let's see if I can convince you guys to go see this flick. 

1. Teaching has always been a big part of my life. My service to the church over the past eight years has almost completely involved teaching. I love teaching. I suppose that is why I have chosen to make it a career. As mentioned in the beginning, teachers are able to change their students lives. But it is hard work; it requires the teacher's full effort, attention, skill, and passion. One of the messages of the film is that a teacher's biggest achievement is to inspire their students, and Kevin James' character goes to some impressive lengths to do that. This movie provides some beautiful lessons on the importance of teaching,

My favorite message about teaching from this film it's all on the teacher. We have a lot of issues with are education system in this country, and I don't think anyone would deny that. Having just sat in a meeting this morning about how to be an effective teacher (with someone who blamed everyone else for not being successful), I began to realize this lesson is even more important. We can try a thousand different methods and force every teacher to do the same thing, but teaching isn't a paint-by-number experience. Any teacher can be effective, regardless of the program as long as they give it their all. This movie is proof that government institutions can't fix problems; PEOPLE have to fix problems. If we want a good society we have to give it our all because we care. I hope it's a lesson I always remember when I finally have a class of my own.

2. One of my favorite quote from the movie is, "Without music, life would be a mistake." (Or something like that; you get the idea though.) The reason that Kevin James' character decides to gets involved in the whole MMA scene is to save the music program at his school. I don't care who you are, I really hope that music means a lot to you, regardless of what kind you enjoy. I love how this movie makes the point that music is really essential to peoples lives. To roughly quote John Keating, there are many professions that are invaluable because they sustain life, but music is one of the reasons we want it to be sustained. This movie provides a powerful (but not overbearing) message about the message of music. It shows that music can inspire a man to win, intimidate an enemy, help you learn, or just allow you to express yourself. Oh, and on a side note, some of the music for this movie is truly incredible!

3. OK, I'll level with you. This movie is almost the exact same concept as Warrior, but with a humorous twist (and no emotionally gut-wrenching family feud.) But it's those differences that make it an entirely different experience. Warrior introduced me to the fact that I love movies about MMA (mixed martial arts). It really is an incredibly inspiring sport, and I've actually researched that it's safer than boxing. (There are less repeated blows to the head and more submission holds that hurt but don't cause damage.) I guess I'm just a sucker for underdog movies. So when that inspiration is combined with humor, you really get an incredibly new experience. Plus it's less violent than Warrior, so people who didn't enjoy that aspect will be more satisfied with this movie. Additionally, it's super impressive that a comedian like Kevin James is able to do some of the MMA fighting he does... He's like the real life Kung Fu Panda! Oh, and for true MMA fans out there, you'll be excited to know there are real MMA fighters in the film.

4. Obviously I have already mention that this movie is funny but it deserves a discussion all its own. I was a huge fan of Kevin James in Hitch. The role was made for the guy. But other than that I have been disappointed by him quite a bit. Watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and I refused to even give Zoo Keeper the time of day because the trailer looked so bad. With this movie, he has totally redeemed himself for me. There were tons of extremely funny parts in this movie and what I loved must about them was how unexpected they were. Usually I can see a joke coming a mile away in a movie, and it's funny because it fits the situation. In this movie, much of the humor is so random that it catches you off guard. I was really impressed by that. 

Now with that being said, I do have to give a disclaimer. Some of the humor misses big time. It's still random but completely uncalled. There is some throw-up humor and that is something that always leaves a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended.) Additionally, since it's a film for families, the cheese is thick enough to cut with a knife. Go in with that expectation, and you'll be just fine. Other than that, I really think you all will enjoy this film if you give it a shot. Go into it lighthearted and I can almost guarantee you will be inspired and entertained!

Taken To The Same Place

 Am I the only person to notice that movies keep getting longer and longer? Granted, some of the longest movies I can think of come from forty years ago, but it seems as if the tread now is reversing. As proof, look at the highest earns of the year. The top movies were all over two hours, and the rest were animated movies. It is becoming really rare to find an action or drama that is an hour and a half long. When you do find one, you've only got about a ten percent chance of liking it. I believe the reason for that is we live in the action of details and plausibility, and it takes a considerable amount of time to establish that and still keep the audience on the edge of their seat. The reason that I loved the first Taken movie was because it achieved this seemingly impossible feat.

Coming into the second I didn't know what to expect I was just extremely excited with slight apprehension. Perhaps I should have paid more heed to that hesitancy. Don't get me wrong the movie wasn't terrible in any sense of the word. I think someone on my Facebook described it best as... meh. It was decent. Liam Neeson was of course incredible and it's hard to believe he is still doing some of the insane fights scenes at his age. Furthermore, they still a good amount of scenes that keep you guessing whether they he will make it or not. But overall I wasn't Taken anywhere new, no pun intended! (OK I really meant the pun... it's my title for goodness sake.) And the scope just seemed... insignificant.

On the teeter tooter of life this movie is pretty much balanced between good and bad. Of course the only way to know for sure is to see it, but since it's only an hour and a half long I'd suggest only paying a $1.27 at Redbox rather than 10 something at your local theater. I will let you know that I'm going to mention some specific details of the movie but don't worry, it's nothing you wont see coming yourself. The movie is completely predictable if you saw the first. So let's take a look at what is on both sides of this teeter tooter that makes it balance the way it does.

 First of all, I really liked it as a continuation on the narrative of Bryan Mills. We get a closer look into what kind of man you have to be in order to have "skills that make (him) a nightmare for people like you." The little details they add about him waiting outside of his daughter's house until exactly 2:00 show the strict obedience to order that borders on compulsive is something the average person is incapable of. Also, am I the only one that hated the ex-wife in the first one for divorcing such a cool guy? Well, in the movie we get to see hints of that relationship being fixed which provided a nice bit of closure for us "hero-gets-the-girl" types. Plus, we learn that he isn't retired and wasting his talents anymore but putting them to good use and making some good money. I love that they don't try and paint the hero of the movie as having had a terrible life since his last triumph! He's a family man and you all know how important family is to me! (Yes, Albanian kidnappers, this is a warning right now to stay away from my son... otherwise... I will find you!)

Second, my favorite scene of the movie is when Liam Neeson's character himself gets kidnapped. I really believe that the guys who writes these films are just trying to make a "what to do when your kidnapped" tutorial and make people want to see it. It was really fascinating to see some of the techniques that can be used in that situation to keep you in control of the situation. Even more exciting is when we get to see Bryan Mills instruct his daughter on how to pinpoint his exact location. (Although I may need to watch the film again to get that technique down...) It was a nice reversal from the last movie that makes it feel like its own sequential narrative and not a repeating continuation. One thing is for sure, from here on out I'm paying a heck of a lot more attention to maps of the cities I visit!

Finally, I liked that this movie was a little less cringe-worthy. I'm sorry, I consider myself a tough guy but I don't think that requires me to get used to the sight of a man being tortured. I thought it was a slight on the character of hero in the last movie when Bryan Mills left a guy to be electrocuted death. (And I bet he is regretting that now too...) Plus, you had all the human trafficking that awakens you to the cold hard reality of life. So, I guess to sum up what I liked was that I didn't walk away having lost faith in humanity! So if you're a little squeamish, this one is for you! Unfortunately, all the pluses of this film are equally balanced with a negative.

Do we have any card players in the audience? You know what I love about card games? Wild cards! They are so great because they can be whatever you need them to be at that particular moment. If you need a 9 of diamonds, it can be just that. If you need a queen of hearts, you got it. Wild cards are great for card games. Sadly, the wild card doesn't translate well into stories. They just don't make any sense whatsoever. Unfortunately for Taken 2, that's exactly what they created with Bryan Mills daughter. If the script needed her to be vulnerable little girl, that's what she was. If she suddenly need to be Rambo in a bikini.,you got it. It may sound great until you realize... Hey, wait a second, this girl is a walking contradiction. The jumps from vulnerability to hardcore were ludicrous in the extreme. Oh, and how the heck am I supposed to believe that the girl who can't pass a drivers test suddenly turns into Jason Bourne behind the wheel the second her feet hit Turkish soil? I need a whole lot more shaky camera to buy that!

My biggest let down was the scope of the film. With the first movie, we had a slow escalation of tension as each ticking second lead to a more desperate Liam Neeson until finally it exploded in an exciting, though predictable, climax. We get none of that build in this film. We jump straight from building the scenario to action in seconds and stay at about that same level the rest of the film until we get to a (once again predictable) disappointing finish sans climax. (Sans means without for those that are confused.) Don't get me wrong, the action is entertaining for the most part, but you can only watch the same guy shoot Albanians in the chest so many times. 

The plot just feels small. From the moment the flame is ignited, burn time is only a matter of hours. In essence, it boils down to this: Guy gets kidnapped with ex-wife, escapes with the help of his daughter, goes back to save ex-wife... the end. If he had the foresight of putting ex-wife in ANY different location when he himself escaped, we would not have last third of the movie. You might say, "Well, the last film's plot consisted of girl getting kidnapped, dad getting ticked of, killing lots of people, and rescuing daughter." That is true, but what made it so great was the satisfaction of Mills exacting his vengeance in Count of Monte Cristo fashion but impromptu! Furthermore, in the first film Liam Neeson brings down an entire system of human trafficking. In this one... he stops an old man completely ignorant of the fact that his son was a D.B... When you compare the two... you have to wonder, is this really the best you can follow up with?!

**SPOILER ALERT**

**Seriously! Remember when you didn't heed the spoiler alert last time and it ruined the movie!!**

Last Chance...

Now I know I said there really wasn't much to spoil but if you haven't seen the movie I'm about to complain about two specific details: the ignorance of which will allow you to enjoy the first half of the movie a lot more. So I'd advise skipping this paragraph if you want to see the film.  First of all, the scene where Kim, the daughter, drives the taxi through the U.S. embassy road block. Really? The Library of Congress in National Treasure 2 had better road blocks! And no one had the sense to shoot the tires!? Of course, if they didn't that would end the movie... but really? Ridiculous! And secondly, not only am I supposed to believe that Liam Neeson has a hard time beating up a pudgy Albanian in a joggers suit who is a good foot shorter than him, I'm also supposed to believe they entered a Street Fighter competition in the middle of the movie!
Seriously, the second they climbed up on the raised circular platform to fight I was convinced the Mortal Combat theme would come on the loud speakers and Sub-Zero and Scorpion would walk out. (Actually... that would have been a more exciting twist than what actually happens.)

Some of you may think I'm going to complain about the fact that he is willing to let the old man go in the end. Actually, I was OK with it! In fact, I thought the most relateble moment for Bryan Mills was in that one moment that we see him exhausted and tired of all the fighting and near death experiences, not to mention how annoyed he is at having his family in danger all the time. I found it further plausible because he really didn't know much about this guy so he gave the villain a chance while not trusting him by a long shot. The down side? From the second he goes back to get his wife, I knew they were going to set up for a third, and I felt pity for the film makers. You've got no where to go from here, dudes. Who is there left to kidnap? Let it go. Here's hoping they come to their senses. ;)

A Villainous Time Of Year

It's October 1st, ladies and gentlemen, and we all know what that means. Halloween is less than a month away! I don't know why, the older I've grown the more I love this time of year, but it is quickly becoming my favorite. Maybe it's just because I love the fall, and I associate Halloween with that. Probably not though because I love the idea of scary movies, haunted houses, and ghost stories. So in honor of that, I have planned an exciting month of Halloween blogs that will hopefully get everyone in the mood for the holiday.

We begin today with a list of the most creepy, memorable bad guys of all time. Now remember, rated R movies are out, so many of you will be disappointed that your Jason's or your Freddy Kruger's, or your Michael Myers' are not on here. But face it, those guys are only creepy because of the gore. Plus, let's be honest, if they were included there's not really anyone that could compete with Hannibal Lector. Instead, we have a decent conglomeration of old baddies and new ones, some from scary movies and some from not so scary movies. I present to you villains that if you've seen them, will leave an impression.

I've taken the liberty of ranking them on their creepiness and their evilness for your convenience. Along the way, you'll get lessons on how to be a grade A villain. Yes, I am totally aware that many of you will still have your favorite missing. But we all know solution to that right! ;) I look forward to your well-structured responses in the comments. Now, let's get started with the creepiest time of year!

10. Fernand Mondego

Creepy Factor: 4

Evil Factor: 6

 Step one to being an evil jerk: be an arrogant, backstabbing, pile of deification.Count Mondego wasn't that creepy. If anything he was just easy to hate because he was so annoyingly evil. I know it's not the same in the book, but any guy that would send his best friend in the world to jail just so he could engage in "wrong-sided business" with his girl is pretty evil. Then to top it off he blatantly cheats on the girl, engages in murder and conspiracy to murder, and then attempts to rob and imprison the first guy all over again. (Even if he doesn't know it's the same guy.) In conclusion, this is the kind of villain you just love to hate and pray that he gets his come-unpins

9. James Moriarty

Creepy Factor: 5

Evil Factor: 6

 In case you didn't know... if a guy sticks a hook through your shoulder, hangs you from the ceiling, and then commences to sing opera and dance around you... HE'S CREEPY! James Moriarty isn't just creepy, he is also really evil. Not only in the movie but in Doyle's stories; the guy has his hands in every nefarious pot in town (make that in Europe.) Combine that with a genius equivalent to his madness and you've got yourself a good villain. A good sign of how scary someone can be is the fact that the hero who takes him down has to fake death to ensure his safety. Make sure you bring your supply of oxygen.

8. Queen Bavmorda

Creepy Factor: 7

 Evil Factor: 6

 Some of you young ones won't have a clue who this is, so let me explain. This lady is what used to keep us twenty-somethings awake at night. Queen Bavmorda is the evil sorceress from the movie Willow. Not only is she evil enough to sacrifice a baby to increase her own power, but she has the power to turn an entire opposing army into pigs. (If you can get yourself some evil powers, that will totally boost your villainous rep.) Lucky for us, she can be fooled by the most simple magic trick. But still, I challenge you to sleep peaceful after the climax scene of this movie. It reeks of creepy.

7. Darth Maul

Creepy Factor:7

Evil Factor: 7

 I'm secure enough to admit that if I see this guy coming my direction... yeah, I'm going the other way. A pretty important key to being a good villain is intimidation and covering your face in black and red tattoos. That will definitely do the trick. I know there are probably two complaints about this choice: 1) That it comes from the worst movie of the series, and 2) why not Darth Vader? Well, regardless of how bad the movie is, this dude is the one part written well. I mean, come on, this was the guy that took down Liam Neeson for goodness sake! And as for Darth Vader, he kind of loses his creep and evil factor when you see how whinny and annoying he was as a kid. I stand by this choice as one of the creepiest bad guys ever.

6. Mort Rainey 

Creep Factor: 6

Evil Factor: 8

 "'I know I can do it,' Todd Downey said, helping himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. 'I'm sure that in time, every bit of her will be gone and her death will be a mystery... even to me.'" If you enjoy scaring the heck out of people this is a good line to have in your artillery. The creepiest part about Mort Rainey is that he is so dang likeable... until you find out he is a schizophrenic killer! A few rules when your up against a guy like this: 1) Don't call a person your trying to protect right into a perfect trap, 2) don't fumble with the keys! Get them in the dang hole and drive off, and 3) don't cheat on a guy and assume you can be best friends with him. Follow these lessons and you really don't need to worry about this kind of villain.

5. Maleficent 

Creepy Factor:7

Evil Factor: 9

Surprised? Well, you shouldn't be. This women is truly evil AND creepy. If you doubt me, just go back and watch. If you're unmotivated to take action just because of a silly blog you read, I'll make my point. You have here a sorceress so wicked that she is willing to kill a baby just for getting snubbed on a party invite. And she won't let that grudge go even after sixteen years! What can we learn from this? Firstly, that she controls the powers of evil and secondly... she must be really bored. This is a terrible combination. Beware! Try to mess with her evil plans and she'll go all dragon mutation on you. Plus, man, I hate that evil minion crow of hers.

4. Mola Ram

Creepy Factor: 8

Evil Factor: 9

 It doesn't matter if your too young to know who this guy is. He's the one in your worst nightmares. Capable to ripping organs out of your chest cavity with his bare hands and a creepy chant, there is nothing welcoming about this guy. Not only does he apparently worship the devil and live in one of the most bug infested spots on the globe, but he was able to momentarily control the greatest adventure of all time: Indiana Jones. With a smile that made his own mother run for the hills, this guy has intimidation down to an art. To make it just completely inexcusable, he also runs a child labor sweat-shop... despicable... just despicable. However, he is proof of what I've said about villains before... you usually meet really messy ends.

3. Voldemort

Creepy Factor: 9

Evil Factor: 10

 Okay, it's really hard to put this guy as number three, but it's really hard to maintain your creep credit when you've been beat by a little boy four or five times... once when he was a baby. Come on, dude, get your evil act together! It's a little embarrassing. Still, he did manage to arrange the death of the greatest wizard of all time, so that counts for something. Still the guy has evil marked all over him... no really he even has the ink of the wrist to prove him. But let's sum up the evil. He's got the face of a snake (least popular animal ever) and can talk to them. He split his soul into seven pieces by killing people. He's killed so many people he probably mumbles "Avada Kedavra" when he snores. His old possessions have the power too, well, posses others. He has his own personal creep squad (with a name twice as creepy as they actually are).  The guys so evil people won't even say his name! This guy is going down in history as one of the bestest baddies of all time.

2. Norman Bates

Creepy Factor: 10

Evil Factor: 9

 

 Has anyone reading this even seen the old Psycho? If not, you really really should. The creepiness of this guy just grows the more you get to know him. At first you think he is just a pathetic loser still living with mom and has really lame hobbies. Then you think of him as an accessory to his murderous mother. Then finally you realize, no, this guy is just a freak through and through. My one complaint with this guy is that I'm not sure that "psycho" is a strong enough word. Regardless, I guarantee that you won't sleep for a week after seeing the result of this guy's cross-dressing habits. Still, the guy loses a point on the evil factor when you consider there still is at least a loving son somewhere in those multiple personalities. Ugh... just thinking about it gives me shudders galore.

1. Joker  

Creepy Factor: 10

Evil Factor: 10

This list deserves a better class of criminal, and boy did this guy give us one. This villian, in my humble opinion, has the scariest motivation for evil ever. Simply put, there isn't one--he's just having fun. The Joker has been called a nihilist (the belief that there is no meaning in life), but this guy is beyond that; he is just wants to make the world burn and doesn't care about to have reason. To make it worse, the guy doesn't seem to want anything... at all! Everyone else on this list had some reason, something that they were trying to achieve or maintain. If a person doesn't want or need anything, you can't understand him, and you always fear what you don't understand. That, in essence, is why this guy takes the evil cake. The fact that someone could just shoot him and end it makes him human. The fact that no one does makes him terrifying. In the wolf pack of villains, he is Alpha and no one is brave enough to contest. Rationalize as much as you want, if this guy existed, you'd resort to zombie apocalypse survival skills. Stock up and wait it out, that's your best bet.

A Specification Of Animated Traditions

I grew up in a family of all boys. So I would be lying if I said it wasn't a huge desire for Alisa and I to have a little girl to shower our affections on. The second I heard that Alisa was pregnant I began a conversation in my head that went something like this: "Man, I hope we're have a girl... But I'd love a boy to, a chip of the old block... Yes, but girls are so sweet and cute!... Well, your son will be to (winking face... yes I probably did wink) and you can teach him how to be a ladies man like his papa... But I want a to make my little girl a Disney Princess... Yes, but every girl needs an older brother..." That thought came from Alisa, not me. She is a lot smarter than me! 

Two weeks ago, we finally found out the gender. Nope, you're not going to find out yet, every good story teller knows you have add tension as much as possible. Leading up to the ultrasound Alisa began a week of preforming every old-wives tale in the book about how to guess the gender. As time got closer, I began having a really excited feeling for a boy even though I was hoping for a girl at first. Pretty much from our first year of marriage we had decided if our first child was a girl we were going to name her Lily. If we had a boy we were going to name him David Everest but refer to him as Everest (similar to his daddy's name). The second I learned the gender, I started referring to our baby by name. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to say that in about 18 weeks we will be welcoming David Everest Virgin into the world! If you thought I was excited before, it's incomparable to now. I can't stop thinking about what he'll love to do. What kind of man will he grow up to be? How much will the ladies love him? ;) But mostly how can I make sure he's as happy as possible? There are so many stories I want to share with him.

Last week I discussed my hopeful plans for family traditions. Now that I know were having a boy, I can be more specific in the movies I'd like to share with my boy. If heard one of the hardest parts or raising kids is the terrible shows they like to watch... like The Backyardigans and The Wiggles. Well, I'll naively believe that I may be able to block that with some classic animated movies. What follows is a list of the top ten animated movies I hope my son will love. Disney is excluded because (1) they would rule the list, (2) I understand some boys think Disney is girly, and (3) I've been repeating myself a little in these blogs so this is my attempt to stop that. Some of you may also notice the glaring absence of movies like the Land Before Time and  An American Tale. Don't get angry, I was a huge fan. I'm the guy who had both a Fievel and A Little Foot stuffed animal as a wee lad. But it's time to realize that age may be past. At least our generation will always love them! Anyway, Let's begin!

1. How To Train Your Dragon

Most Quotable Line: "Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile."

There are not enough words to praise this movie. I wasn't sure what to expect when I first watched it, but I was not expecting anything close to how incredible it was. It competes with the best Disney movies of all time. The story is a perfect match for kids and adults. The humor has perfect timing and intelligence. The casting is spot on. And the score... I'm going to say its the best score for an animated movie I've ever heard. I hope our boy loves this movie as much as I do. And maybe we can get him to talk in a Scottish accent!

2. Kung Fu Panda

 Most Quotable Line: "There is no charge for awesomeness, or attractiveness." & "Skadoosh!"

 This one is right in line with How To Train Your Dragon. And not just the first one, the second was just as incredible. When this movie came out it kind of ruined all other movies for me that came out that summer. I think I cried from laughing in the theater. Plus I love the message: there is no special ingredient to make someone special, you just have to believe in them. I also had an extremely powerful insight about the negative effects of parental pride. (I won't explain here for times sake.) That is an incredible feat for a kids movie.

3. Ice Age

 Most Quotable Line: "You calling me a liar?" "I didn't say that." "You were thinking it." "I don't like this cat. He reads minds." 

Oddly enough when this first came out, I thought it was overrated. And I HATED the Scrat scenes. It wasn't until I got back from my mission that I appreciated them for how funny it really is. The second one didn't do much for me but I loved the third almost as much as the first. I even enjoyed the Scrat scenes in the third one! If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor and go watch! I hope I'm not tempted when our little man is born and the doctor says "It's a boy" to say "That's it's tail." If you're laughing, you're a true fan. ;)

4. Arthur Christmas

 Most Quotable Line: "Arthur! Christmas is not a time for emotion!"

 I'm really going to go out on a limb with this one and say that this is probably one of the top five best Christmas movies I have ever scene. Alisa and I saw it last Thanksgiving, (because she had always wanted to see a movie on a holiday in the theater) and I was shocked how fast it put me in the Christmas spirit. Not only is it funny and exciting, but has a truly important spiritual undertone. In the movie, Arthur steals Santa's sleigh because one child got missed. He goes through an extremely long and difficult journey just so that no child is forgotten on Christmas. Catch the spiritual undertone? Good! Now rent the movie when it comes out! I hope my little guy will realize how important he is after growing up with this.

5. The Prince of Egypt

Most Quotable Line: "Let my people go!"

This one isn't new, but it is a classic. All I remember when this movie first came out is that there were like five different soundtracks to it and everyone was obsessed with a least one of them. Now I grew up watching The Ten Commandments every Easter when it came on TV. It was the one movie my parents ever let me stay up to finish. But this movie broke my childhood loyalty to Mr. Heston. It's just that good! The casting it so huge. I've never seen this many big names in an animated movie before. Treat yourself and your kids tonight and watch this one as a family. I can't wait to share it with my boy! Oh and cool fact! Did you know that Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did some of the singing voices for the movie!? Well, you do now.

6. Shrek 2

 Most Quotable Line: "Whatever happens... I must not cry. You cannot make me cry..." 

 I think... yes... this was the last time I left the movie theater with a sore stomach from laughing so hard. (Things are just a lot funnier as a teenager.) I was never a big fan of the first Shrek and I hated the third, but this one will always be a classic for me. I suppose my son will have to watch the first one to understand the second, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.... I should probably be checking to make sure it's okay with Alisa that our kids watch this many movies. She does like the Backyardigans after all.

7. Madagascar 2

 Most Quotable Line: "I like um Chunky!"

This one is in the exact same boat as Shrek. Not a huge fan of the first, but I loved the second one. Probably because of two words: Moto and Moto ("So nice, you say it twice.") The plot was more family oriented, the music was better, and the conclusion at the end just makes you feel a whole lot more warm and fuzzy. Only concern: Alisa has been wanting to make a music video for "Chunky" for over three years now. I'm convinced that I will come home from work one day to find poor Everest dressed up like a hippo surrounded by my sister-in-laws dancing while Alisa records and the song blares from our stereo. Wait, did I say concern? I meant best hope to fulfill my goal of being a YouTube video sensation. 

8. Surfs Up

 Most Quotable Line: "A role model? No. But I do consider myself somebody that everyone should look up to. Kids should try to pretend that they're Tank. I mean, they should try. Good luck, kids!"

This is probably the least know movie on here. I, however, was a huge fan from my first viewing. I love that this is one of the few animated movies that is filmed like a documentary. It's got some really big names in it. Shia LaBeouf, Jeff Bridges, Zooey Deschanel, James Wood (Hades from Disney's Hercules for those of you who don't know) and Napoleon Dynamite! This movie beats its Disney equivalent of Lilo and Stitch by a long shot. I may also be partial to this movie because I thought surfing was the coolest thing in the world when I was growing up.

9. Despicable Me

 Most Quotable Line: "IT'S SO FLUFFY!!!"

Some of you may be shocked that this is so low on the list but consider the awesomeness of it's predecessors! Plus I really think Vector (the point-dexter in the bright orange jumpsuit) was super annoying. If I heard "Oh yeah!" one more time, I was going to punch him... through my TV. Anyways, every time I think about this movie I remember a story about my nephew Austin. Apparently my family (minus me and Alisa) were watching this at a Christmas gathering. You know the creepy looking dog in movie? Well it would seem that it terrifies my nephew because the second he saw it, he started yelling "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!" and ran out of the room. I really hope my boy inherits those same nerves of steal that apparently run in the Virgin family! ;)

10. Quest for Camelot

Most Quotable Line (in rhythm): The song 'The Prayer'

Did anyone out there actually know that the song 'The Prayer' came from this movie? I bet not, because it probably isn't familiar to any of you that weren't processing adolescence in the early '90s. I used to be obsessed with this soundtrack growing up. Yes, the music does drastically overshadow the plot, but it is still a fun one for the family to watch. At least it used to be. Humor might have evolved beyond this flick by now (I haven't seen it in a while, so I can't say for sure.) Still, it's about Camelot and what little boy isn't fascinated by knights when they are younger?! Plus it's got The Dread Pirate Roberts in it! Anyone? Bueller? ;)

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Honorable Mentions

The Adventures of Tin-Tin

OK, this one would be in the top three hands down except for the fact that like I said I'm trying to avoid repetition. If you'd like to know my thoughts on it you can read what I wrote before.

My Redtail Recompense 

The Road to El Dorado 

 Most Quotable Line: "You fight like my sister!" "I've fought your sister. That's a compliment!"

This movie is also from the '90s and a little more adult but still pretty good. The reason that it doesn't make the above is because, like I said, it's got some pretty adult (and demonic) things that I don't want to expose my little tike to until he's older. Oh, well!

A Family of Traditions

Let's be frank (Never met him... hope this is a good impression.), sometimes when I write a blog it's because I'm so excited about a story that I just want to share it with the world (or sometimes warn people to avoid it like the plague). However, acts as an outlet for my thoughts and things going on in my life. I hope all of you are lucky enough to have a metaphor you can use to throw yourself out to the world. As for me, clearly that metaphor is books and movies. However, with this blog I'm just going to bluntly come out and say what's on my mind.... I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO BE A DAD!

I think more than anything I just want to be the best dad I can possibly be. (Luckily I have a great example from my own dad and my brothers, even the ones that aren't dad's yet.) But what kind of dad will I be? Naturally I want my kids to know the rules and to do their best to live by them so that they stay safe and happy. But if you can't tell I may have a small itsy bitsy Peter Pan complex. (Better than a Captain Hook complex!) ;) I want to be the type of dad that gets down and plays with my kids! I want to build forts with them, color with them, take goofy pictures, go camping, beat them at Disney Scene-It on a regular basis, and just join them in being kids (along with my lovely wife.) I just want to make the time count.

No, I'm not going to force them to like books and movies the way I do; I want them to follow their own passions... But I will try to influence them at an early age. Sometime I just sit and imagine my future family doing a weekly tradition of cooking dinner for the lovely Alisa every Friday night and than cozying up for a game and movie night. Man, that sounds like my idea of paradise... So much so that I have taken the liberty of making another list. The top ten family films I want to share with my kids. Now naturally these aren't all my favorites because there are just so many out there. I'm going to do the list a favor and leave out animated films cause otherwise most of these wouldn't make it (I'll get to that list next week.) So here's the deal: if your favorite isn't on the list, leave it in the comments so I can add it to mine. I mean, there are a lot of weekends to plan for since I intend on making my kids do this til they're.... 21 or so ;)

Finding Neverland:

My original idea this week was to write a blog on the seven best Peter Pan adaptations like I did with Snow White. Sadly, most people didn't seem to enjoy that one so I cut out the idea of doing it again. Luckily this movie (which would have topped the list) gets on here. I'm not going to lie, I cried like a baby in the theater with this one. I'm not going to even bother explaining why I think my kids will love this. It is, in short, a phenomenal movie. I love that it teaches everyone, even adults, the importance of imagination. Plus, it's just good clean fun for the family (didn't that used to be on like every VHS cover?) I can only hope it'll give my kids a healthy Peter Pan complex!!

Sorcerer's Apprentice:

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Disney live action at it's finest! First of all, the casting for this movie was beyond perfect. Second, the concept is just plain cool; and thirdly, "I got a date with a girl cause I'm aweesommme!" The movie is just plain funny. I remember the first time I watched it, and they had the Star Wars dialogue, "You don't need my identification card." I was thinking to myself, Talk about rip off until they said exactly what I was thinking while watching the movie. I hope my kids get the concept that in order to do great things in life, the most important thing this is to believe in ourselves. Furthermore, no one is ever born perfect at anything; it still takes hard work and determination to become incredible. Now kids, let's apply that and get to work on the lawn... "To the South! Quick march!"

Jumanji:

I'm actually surprised that Robin Williams doesn't appear more on my list; the guy was born to make family films. This movie is a great idea because it may scare my kids out of playing board games and push them to a stronger desire to read with dad. ;) In all seriousness, this one is not just fun for all, it's also an important reminder to let kids grow up individually.
Who knows, if I'm not careful I may someday push my child to do something he doesn't want, and the next thing ya know he's sucked into a board game, I have monkeys in my kitchen, creepy vines all over my library and a lion in my bed room.
Alisa would never forgive me for the mess...

National Treasure:

All jokes aside with this one. As a guy looking to get a masters in history, I want my kids to learn that history is exciting! And this movie does just that! (I'm even willing to excuse the fact that Nicholas Cage looks way to old to be preforming some of those stunts.) The reasons I love this movie are two fold: first, I love history. History is nothing but the story of people with the boring stuff cut out. ;) So what's not to like? Secondly, we've entered an age where being patriotic is no longer a good thing. I hope that my kids realize that is a stupid fade. Not to be cheesy, but, well, here it goes. The true treasure in this movie isn't the gold they find at the end, it's the principles contained in that role of paper they carry around with them. 

Secondhand Lions:
This is the first movie I ever saw my dad cry during. And who can blame him? This movie is just as touching as it is exciting. Not only is it incredibly written but is then made even better by adding Michael Caine, Robert Duvall, and that kid who sees dead people! The monologue Duvall gives is one of my favorites ever! I might as well quote it directly, "Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money... mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love, true love never dies... Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in." Man, that's good stuff! 
 

Sky High:

How many people actually remember this movie? It's one of Alisa and my favorite. It takes the superhero narrative to a whole new level, like Harry Potter meets X-Men. (Yes, I'm pretty sure the VHS had that on the cover too!) I don't know how Disney does this almost every time. They can take a story and make it funny, dramatic, exciting, and compelling all at the same time. And they seem to be able to do it almost every time. It must be magic. ;) This one teaches good lessons to my kids and me at the same time. (I know I keep mentioning me, but Alisa doesn't need lessons, she's already perfect! ;) For me, I learn not to put pressure on my kids to become what I want them to be. For my kids, they can learn that it takes time to reach their full potential.

Hook:

Yes, this was indeed the runner up in my Peter Pan list. Alisa and I watched this the other day for the first time in a while, and I was shocked at how many of the lines I still quote today without realizing that I got them from this movie. And I mean, come on, how many of you out there haven't grabbed someone's face, mushed it up, and said "Oh, there you are Peter!" Yes, Alisa does hate when I do that to her... Regardless, this movie is a classic. Great humor for the adults and equally great humor for the kiddos. The story of Peter Pan all grown up... now THAT'S an incredible idea for a story. How come Hollywood can't deliver stuff like this anymore?

Newsies:

Guys, don't try to be tough, almost everyone loves this movie. I still remember on my mission driving with a fellow missionary when we heard this song and instantly started sing the words together (If you're reading this you know who you are, and you're awesome!) I remember seeing this for the first time and thinking that I can do anything that I set my mind too. Hopefully, my kids will learn that too. Then we can spend the rest of the night before bedtime singing and dancing to the songs! One thing has always bothered me though: I still don't understand how the main character grew up to be Batman... hopefully they'll make the movie explaining that soon!

Holes:

I still have never read this book and it's been on my list for like six years now. I remember seeing it for the first time just because it has Lewis from Even Stevens in it. (BEST SHOW EVER!) This is fun movie and I can't wait to share it. Additionally, this is a twofer. Not only will it scare the pants off my kids at the idea of breaking the law, but it will also teach them, as a famous animated explorer has said, "Adventure is out there!" However, it goes counter to my ambition of having them share my eternal hatred of onions. Oh well, ya win some, ya lose some.  I hope you guys realize I'm just kidding most of the time here, other wise you probably think I'm going to be the most manipulative dad out there...

Night At The Museum:

This one is a lot like National Treasure. It let's my kids understand that learning can be fun and sometimes it can save your life. For instance, if they didn't know that the T-Rex had the qualities of the family dog, they would probably run around screaming for their life if one ever came around. Hahahaha... rookie mistake. ;) And hey, this brings Robin Williams up to three  movies on this list. Not bad at all. What would make this night even better is if I could somehow get my kids excited to read about some of the historical figures mentioned in the movie afterwards. Yes, I'm NERDY! This movie if fun, exciting, and most importantly clean. It kind of has that Indian in the Cupboard feel... Wow, can I get a shout out from anyone that actually remembers that book or movie?
_ _ _ _ __

Of course, I realize that by the time my family is old enough to have these there will be a lot of great new movies to watch, but one can never forget the classics! Now I just have to hope my kids like movies. Oh well, what's important is the time I spend with them, not what we do. Happy tradition making!

Documenting Politics Al La Cinema

Do you know who the first President was to receive such harsh criticism and attack that he strongly desired to leave office? That's right, el Presidente numero uno. Washington was used to criticism as a General of the Continental Army; heck, some of his people tried to sabotage and replace him. But it wasn't until he became the first President of the United States that he really got hit in a way he never expected. It's odd to think since he is a lot of peoples favorite present today. Lincoln is the only other one that really gives him a run for his money. The funny thing is that Lincoln was even more hated while in office than Washington was. Washington at least at his supporters. Lincoln had detractors everywhere! So if you are a person who believes ludicrous, over-the-top attacks on the President are a new thing. Please try reading a Presidential biography! Any of them will do. 

As a guy with a degree in political science, I often wonder what it is about politics that causes people TO LOSE THEIR FREAKIN MINDS! There are probably several people out there who completely avoid the topic because they can't express an idea without someone jumping down their throats. It's surprising that not even religion can cause this kind of debate. I almost believe we all could search the world over and not find a single person that agrees with us on every single issue. And while some of us realize we have no right to hate someone just because of the way they look, we still haven't realized we can't hate someone because of the way they think. Unfortunately, hating the way someone thinks makes it even more contentious; there is an element of choice to our thoughts that cause us to be more defensive of them. 

Recognizing a perceived wrong is no good unless you can recommend a possible solution. Lucky for me, I have read biographies on both Washington and Lincoln in the past year, and I can offer their example as the solution. This is my challenge to you: if you come across a person that strongly differs with your political ideals, focus on the common ground! You WILL solidify a person in their ideals if you insult them for it, NOT change their mind. No one understands that better than Lincoln, and if he could have a meme to throw out into the world wide web today, I think it would be "Unite! Addition is easier than division" (That last part was all me. Pretty catchy, huh? ;) Then from a common ground, you can have an honest, respectful, intellectual conversation about your differences.

Batten down the hatches, I'm about to discuss a political documentary. Here's how this is going to work: Everyone is more than welcome to comment, but if you are one of those people incapable of civil discussion just go back to your coloring book and let the big kids talk. If anyone says anything rude, not only will I delete your comment, I will than add a comment saying "So and so was too ignorant for civilized conversation, he/she will return when he/she graduates to pull-ups. 'Mommy, wow!'" As for me, I probably won't respond beyond this post because hopefully I'll have said all I desire too. Isn't it sad I needed that long disclaimer?

I am usually pretty hesitant with documentaries in general. There are some crazy stuff people trying to prove themselves out there. My brother-in-law recently told me about one he'd watched that tried to convince people that Paul McCartney died in the '60s and the man pretending to be him now is a fake. But as a conservative guy who likes to keep up with politics, I felt kind of obligated to go see 2016: Obama's America. Going in, I was actually a little hesitant. But I was actually surprised by how reasonable the movie was. I would definitely recommend it to all my conservative readers.

For those of you who haven't heard about it, it's a film that traces Obama's history and applies his history to suggest he is anti-colonialist. In the attitude of unbiased fairness, there are three points that I scratched my head over. First of all, one of the instances that Mr. D'Sousa uses to explain Obama's actions in office is the fact that he returned a bust of Winston Churchill back to the British government. His point is that this action is proof of his anti-colonial tendency. However, after the movie I did a little research and (can I just say) it is dang hard to get to the truth of even small things in Washington. The best narrative I can give is that the Brit's offered to let Obama keep a bust they lent to Bush, but he refused and sent it back. However, the argument becomes a little weak when you realize there is almost an exact replica somewhere in the White House that's still there. Conclusions... I'm confused by the whole thing and came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter.

Second, D'Sousa visits Obama's half-brother (George) in Kenya to prove the similarities between Barrack and Barrack senior. While there, he brings up that George lives in extreme poverty and the President won't send any aid. But the thing that stood out to me here is that George doesn't blame President Obama for that. He says in essence that Barrack has his own family and nation to take care of and as a half-brother he isn't owed anything. In my mind, if George doesn't attack Obama for this, then no one else has the right to. It is interesting that with a little research I found George did ask D'Sousa for money a few months later because he was desperate.

Finally, the only idea presented in the movie that I disagree completely with is the idea that if Obama abandons Israel to the Middle East than a United Muslim Nation will arise. I'm sorry, but it's going to take A LOT longer documentary to convince me that the Sunni's and Shiite's will ever agree enough to form a joint government. One could reasonably argue an absences of U.S. influence in the Middle East would make a strong Muslim community but not that they are suddenly unite just because they get to kill of the Israelis. However, for an hour and a half of documentary, only seeing one substantive flaw is way WAY above par.

Now for the reasons you should go see it. First of all, it is so refreshing to have a critique that can't be labeled as racist. I can't stand that accusation anymore, that anytime someone says something negative about the President the accuser has to be racist. Do I really need to remind everyone that every single President has been attacked (most of them harshly) since number one and it had nothing to do with race?! The movie brings up a quote from Jesse Jackson (if I remember right) where he says that racism is still around. It's just not overt anymore and is therefore more dangerous. ..are you kidding me?! The racism that used to lynch poor innocent boys is more dangerous than the kind that allowed an African American to become the President?! So stop calling me a racist just because I disagree with the President's fiscal policy.

Furthermore, this documentary is more scholarly than most I've seen. It takes Obama's biography and applies it as an explanation for his current actions. I had to do that EXACT assignment in one of my Poli Sci classes. (Well we could do it for any President. I choose Jefferson. ;) It's hard to argue with half the things said in the film because half the movie consists of direct quotes from Obama's autobiography. It's hard to say Obama wasn't influenced by his radical left wing father when he says, "I was really influenced by my father. In fact, here are the dreams I got from my father." (No, not a direct quote.) What's more I actually felt an element of... dare I say sympathy for the President. Mr. D'Sousa shows that this poor guy was dragged all over the place and had very few consistent role models (all of them left-wingers) in his life. As a result, he idealized his father whom he never really met and later found out was not such a nice guy. Towards the end of the film D'Sousa suggests (based on Obama's on words) that he is reconciled with his father based on shared ideals. It's an extremely compelling narrative, but one that definitely makes you question the Presidents current motives. 

Another thing I liked is that the conclusions D'Sousa draws can't be argued with either. He argues three things will happen if Obama is re-elected. First, Israel will lose support from the U.S. allowing for a more dangerous Middle East (Israel has been snubbed more times than I can count by Obama.); second, our nuclear arsenal will be reduced to below average (Obama has already signed the treaty that no one else is following. At the same time there's a quote in the movie in reference to Iran where he says no country has the right to control the nuclear program of another.); and third, overwhelming debt that goes unheeded until the system fails. (Do I really need to point out that this is happening?) Furthermore, it's hard to argue with the films message that Obama will be more aggressive in his second term when: a. most Presidents are, and b. we have him on tape, when he wasn't expecting it, telling a Russian ambassador that he would have more room to do what he wants after the election. That's a little scary after we've seen what he's done with his first term.

Finally, what I actually loved most was a statement Mr. D'Sousa gives at the beginning of the film. He says when he came to America, he was excited to live in a country where you can construct your own life and not have it constructed for you. (Being from India, he knows a lot about that.) It is so true. I love this country. I love the liberty that I have here. I love that I am able to construct my life and that often means if I make a mistake I have to learn from my own consequences. I fear that ideal is slipping away. I can't one hundred percent for sure say who President Obama is but this film makes a very compelling argument that he's willing abandon people's right to construct their own lives in the attempt to make everyone in the world equal. I don't want that. But I guess everyone has a right to "construct" their desires.

The cinematography is beautiful, the music is great, and the is narrative compelling. If your interested, please go see this movie and than ask the honest questions.

The Tragedy of Trilogies

Can I get an "amen" from all the poor folks in the audience? As a young married couple expecting a baby, sometimes we just don't get everything we want. Alisa doesn't get to have all the clothes and make all the crafts she wants, and I don't get to buy all the books or go see all the movies I want. But really who needs those distractions when your so in love? ;) I wouldn't trade what I have for all the movies and books in the world! Sadly, that means I can't keep you guys as informed as I'd like in your movie choices. Alisa and I saw Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted this weekend in the cheapies, and by this point most of you don't even care. Regardless, you will still get my opinion on the movie. However, while I was watching it my thoughts also turned trilogies. Why is it so hard to make three exceptional movies in a row? Stay tuned for the answer ;)

OK, Madagascar 3. Let me explain... No time, let me sum up. ("Buttercup is set to marry Humperdink in little less than half an hour.") Overall, I was actually impressed by the film. I've said it before, Disney needs to watch their back because Dreamworks keeps coming out swinging and this movie was no exception. I liked it more than the first but not as much as the second. It was fun, light-hearted, and, well, cheesy.  There were, of course, a few things that bothered me. First of all, they don't even bother to mention any of the new characters introduced in the second movie. As a result, the four main characters only desire is to suddenly find a way back to New York. Secondly, the whole indestructible-women-as-the-bad-guy thing is getting kind of old. I thought it was a little much with the old lady in the second movie, and it was even worse in this one.

However, I did love one underlying message that they were able to bring across in the end. Throughout the whole movie, the four main character only desire was to get back to their zoo in New York. (They tie up the trilogy with this point, which would be true if the second movie didn't end the way it did.) When they finally get there, they realize they really don't want to go back. They are no longer the same and no longer satisfied with their old comfort zones. Some of you out there may be wishing you could return to something or some time from the past. But if your living life the right way, you'll never be satisfied going back. Life is an adventure, and adventures are designed to change you for the better. Don't spend your time wishing for the past. It's a lovely message. I'd recommend at least Redboxing this one. If you have kids, it's a must.

You'll notice that both my negatives and my positives deal with the movie as the end of a trilogy. I think the most difficult task in Hollywood these days is writing an effective narrative over three films. So, here are the lessons you need to learn if your planning on making one yourself anytime soon.

Rule #1

 Keep the Same Font:

It probably all started with Back to the Future... one second Marty Mcfly's girlfriend looks one way, pop in the next movie and suddenly she has transformed into Elizabeth Shue. Talk about killing the illusion! It's essential that if you want a good trilogy: LOCK YOUR FOLKS DOWN! I'm not a big Katie Holmes fan, but even I can't help feeling disillusioned when suddenly Maggie Gyllenhaal showed up in The Dark Knight. It kills the magic people. If you cast someone, keep them! Oh, and that goes for directors too! I know it's not a trilogy, but really five different directors for the Harry Potter series?! A little continuity, please ;)

Rule #2

Do No Copy/Paste:

Sometimes when a joke gets a lot of attention in the first movie, writers like to bring it back again in the next.... and again and again and again! I don't care how hard I laughed the first time, if I had heard one more "Why's the rum gone" joke in the Pirates of the Caribbean, I would have screamed! When the same elements of a movie show up over and over again, no one feels like the story is going anywhere.

Something I loved about the new Madagascar movie was the subtle hints at the first movie. Remember in the first movie when the main four characters are captured and shipped off to Africa and they wake up in their crates? In this third movie, they do the same thing with a bunch of Interpol police. I got it right away and laughed out loud; Alisa didn't remember, so it was like a special treat for me. On the other hand, here's another movie that breaks this rule. We watched the first Mission Impossible movie last night, and I realized Ethan Hunt gets disavowed in EVERY movie! I mean, the movie are still incredible (No, the second isn't included), but how much better would it be if they switched thing up? Let's stick to subtle reminiscence, not blatant copy/paste.

Rule #3

No Double Spacing (and watch your margin size ;)

This one is short and simple: if you're going to make a trilogy, don't wait ten years after the first movie and then shove two more movies down our throat in two years. I'll give you the best example why in three word; MASK, OF and ZORRO! The first movie was incredible! If they had made the sequel timely we could have gotten an incredible trilogy out of it. As it is, they waited til Antonio Banderas was old... "non-Zorro-y," the second movie tanked, and we didn't get a third. Other examples? Pirates of the Caribbean and The Matrix... and look how those ended up! The longer people have to remember how incredible the first one was, the harder it i to match it with two more films. I'm not saying Lord of the Rings is a perfect trilogy in this regard, but I would describe it as "the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art" (Yes, that is a dictionary definition of perfection.)

Rule #4

Have a Rough Draft:

There are basically three types of trilogies. The first kind is a perfect progression of narrative where the three movie move a long in seamless connection. Think of your Lord of the Rings or your original Star Wars movie. Then the three movies are completely unrelated that ensure something new and great each time. For example, the Indiana Jones trilogy (please don't ever mention the fourth one here... ever!) And finally there is your, "We made one movie and it was incredible so now that we made a lot of money lets make more and try to connect it all together." This usually results in a breaking of rule number 3. Can you guess which of the three I disapprove of? I worry because it looks like that is the way the Kung Fu Panda series is going. Either make all three movies a cliff hanger or not at all. I hate when the last two movies are perfectly connected (with a huge cliff hanger), but we didn't get that in the first. And so far I can't think of a movie where that turned out well.

Rule #5

Progression of Epic...ness

You know, I can only think of two trilogies where I liked the last movie most. (Indiana Jones and the original Star Wars... I guess that's true of the newer ones too, but in that case I refer to it a hating the least.) I either love the first movie most (i.e. Pirates, Back to the Future, new James Bond, Bourne Identity and Matrix (I watched it edited.)) or the second most (i.e. Lord of the Rings, The Dark Knight, Toy Story 2 and so on). I think it is more of a challenge to movie makers more than anything. It's hard because the first movie has to be good and each has to get progressively bigger and better. In the case of The Dark Knight, we got a great first movie, an incredible second, and then left with just a great third one when I was expecting mind-blowing. If the narrative expands in the second, the third feels small like it isn't bigger than the second. That's my challenge to you movie makers! Make me an epic trilogy of progression!