An Ode to Disney

Last week my lovely wife and I had the chance to visit Disneyland with my family. It has been nine years since my last visit. I'm secure in my manhood and can loudly proclaim that I am a Disney fanatic. I know all the songs (just ask my co-workers), I watch the movies all the time (just ask my wife), I've never been beaten at Disney Scene It (make sure to only ask me), and I can give you a list of my top ten favorite without hesitation. They are as follows and are, sadly, indisputable: 1.Tangled 2.Beauty and the Beast 3.Aladdin 4.Tarzan 5.Sleeping Beauty 6.Emperor's New Grove 7.Mulan 8.Cinderella 9.The Jungle Book 10.The Lion King. So, it was quite obvious this one was coming. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love stories: reading them, watching them, telling them, doesn't matter. But the reason I love them is because of the truth I draw from them. I've never understood studies that claim that peoples brains turn off when they watch TV because mine races a million miles a minute while watching movies. My mind fills with ideas and thoughts. Disney is special because it's been filling my head with lessons since I was little. So what follows is a life time of knowledge in 10 easy to remember life lessons that Disney teaches us.

 Lesson 1

Singing Fixes Everything

Whether you're wooing the princess of your dreams or delivering a soliloquy of your evil intentions, Disney has taught us one thing: everything sounds better with a tune. I'm only sort of kidding here. Music is really the best magic out there. It can heal a heart, express feelings of love, or just help you clean up your house. Disney also teaches that animals will help you clean if your voice is good enough... eat that American Idol! 

Lesson 2

It doesn't matter what your up against you can find a way

"I'm a street-rat remember. I'll improvise." Aladdin was up against some steep odds: an evil sorcerer/slash genie that stole his magic lamp and trapped his main squeeze in a giant hour glass... The thing is Disney heroes don't ever need magic to save the day. They do it with their own determination, skill, and, yes, street smarts ;) We can conquer anything so long as we don't give up.

Lesson 3

Have a pet for a side kick

Does this speak for itself? Yes. Yes it does. If your lucky, your sidekick animal can do the talking for you!!

On a serious note, I think the real lesson here is that everyone needs someone to confide in, someone that believes in them when they don't believe in themselves. It's just an extra bonus if they are cute and cuddly! Like a Snugly Duckling! "Yay!"

 
Lesson 4

Love Finds a Way

Having been married to the princess of my dreams for over two years, I can testify that this one is true. Love is the power that allows us to do the most exceptional things in life. Disney is also right that true love's kiss can fix anything! It's like a wise man once said, "You're nobody until somebody loves you." So hey, find yourself somebody to love! K?

Lesson 5

You Must Control Your Temper!

 Nobody likes a Grumpy Gil ;) Actually... that could be disputed. Grumpy seems to be the most popular of the seven dwarfs after Dopey. Come to think of it, if the Beast hadn't lost his temper and thrown Belle's father in the dungeon then he would never have met Belle! But... it almost got them killed too. Keep that temper in check.

  
Lesson 6

Piranhas ARE Native To South America

This is just a friendly reminder of the importance of a good education. Please be warned! One day your ignorance in science and geography could be the cause of a terrible stampede that put peoples lives in danger. Oh! You're also never to young to question the sanitation of your drinking and bathing water. If it looks questionable, just say no!

 

 Lesson 7

Lying Causes Grotesquely Enlarged Bodily Orifices

I hope everyone realizes that you shouldn't lie.There's just no end to the amount or hurt and mistrust it can lead to. Plus it's infinitely better to be trusted rather than be doubted. But if that wasn't enough Disney gave us another negative consequence. Pinocchio got lucky, it was only his nose With my luck it would probably ended up being my rear...

 
 Lesson 8

Good Always Conquers Evil

This one seems to be an ideal that we don't believe in anymore. However, we need to remember that good doesn't conquer evil because fate says so. Good conquers evil only when a hero stands up and makes it happen. Good is more powerful than evil, but good requires action and evil doesn't. The principles we call good are also eternal because they can make us happy forever. Evil is weaker because it's based on principles that lead to its own destruction. 

 Here's an additional idea. Have you ever noticed that Disney villains die in really really weird ways. Gaston fell from a really high tower, Ursula got run through with a ship, Hook is eaten by a Crocodile, even Clayton hangs on vines he cut himself... Here's my advice: If you one day realize that you're the villain of a story GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! IT WON'T END WELL!!

Lesson 9

Imagination   

I'm not afraid of growing up, I'm afraid of losing my imagination. Perhaps I do have a Peter Pan complex. Don't get me wrong, I love learning and I love being informed. But I still believe there is a lot of mystery in the world and that excites me just as much. That's the one thing that really struck me this time as I visited Disneyland. Just look at how much happiness one man's imagination brought into the world. Don't let being mature equate to losing your imagination! The only thing that separates an average everyday life and and fairytale is imagination.

Lesson 10

Happily Ever After

I believe in happy endings. For me a story that ends on unhappily is an unfinished story. Think of it this way, what if the Lion King had ended when Mufasa died? What if Sleeping Beauty ended after she pricked her finger? What if Hercules ended right as Hades took over Mount Olympus? Or, worst of all, what if Dumbo ended right before he learned to fly? If you're at a point in your story that resembles one of these, trust me you can still have a happily ever after! If you choose to. And remember, as a famous green friend once said, "When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true" ;)

Bonus Lesson

Good Looking Rogue Thieves Make The Best Hair Cutters

Seriously! Look at that haircut! It's better than I can do! And he did it with a broken piece of glass while he was dying on the floor! Rapunzel found a keeper here!

Additional thought: Have you ever noticed that Disney seems to be more themed towards girls these days and Dreamworks seems geared more to boys? Need proof? Just look at Dreamworks and their recent films, Kungfu Panda, How to Train Your Dragon, Madagascar, Shrek! They are totally trying to steal guys away from Disney! For the record, I would propose that Pixar gender neutral!